Still Burning?

Did you think last week's tips were it to conquer burnout? Well they weren't!! But it was a start. How did it go for you? Were you able to find 5 minutes a day just for you? If not, work on it. You really can't be available for those who need you if you have zero time for yourself.

How else can you create time for yourself? Say No!!! This goes hand in hand with last week's tip of reevaluating your responsibilities.

It might sound pretty easy, but how many of you actually feel comfortable saying "no" when asked to pick up an extra child in the carpool, make cupcakes for a work party, clean for your Mother-in-law's visit? Saying "no" is really difficult. If we say no we often feel as if we are failing, being selfish, not meeting expectations, or being lazy. Well, unfortunately no one is going to say "no" for you and NO ONE is going to take care of you but yourself. If you don't start saying "no" people are just going to pile more on you or expect that you are going to pick up the slack. You have to stick up for yourself and set boundaries to keep yourself healthy. But how do you do that?

1. How will this request impact your life?

Is your boss asking you to stay late which is annoying but could potentially increase your year-end bonus? Is your sister-in-law asking you to watch her kids which will mean you could miss spending time with your husband who you rarely see? Think about the pros and cons of saying "no" or taking on the task. Sometimes, you will have to take on a task that in the short run could contribute to burnout but in the long run will lessen the burn.

2. Why are you feeling guilty about saying "no"?

Is the person to whom you are saying "no" going to give you a guilt trip? Don't let them. Keep reminding yourself that you are taking care of you and need to say "no" in order to do so.

Is it tough to say "no" because you always say "yes"? It will take a while to get used to saying "no" but the discomfort is worth it in the long run.

3. Do you feel like you are not meeting expectations?

Chances are those expectations are your own. Give yourself a break and don't expect so much! Would you expect this much from someone else?

4. Say No.

Now the tough part - try saying "no" to one thing this week.

See how it goes. Were you uncomfortable at first? But were you thankful in the long run?

Try it out and see!!

Are You Burning Out?

With everything most of us have going on these days, it is nearly impossible to take time for ourselves. Not taking that time, however, leads to burnout. This burnout can be emotional, job-related, family-related, and even physical. How can you tell if you are burned out or heading in that direction?
Do things you used to enjoy seem to exhaust you instead of inspire you or make you happy?
Does the thought of working, caring for others, or even caring for yourself seem more difficult than usual?
Are you snippy with those around you?
Do you do social activities only because you feel like you "should"?
Do you feel overwhelmed by responsibilities?

If you answered Yes to ANY of these questions you could be experiencing burnout.

So what now? Can you give your responsibilities to someone else? Quit your job? Take a spa vacation for a month? Probably not!
So what can you do?

1. Recognize Your Burn. Now that you know you are burned, it is a good idea to do something to heal it before it gets worse.
2. Reevaluate Responsibilities. Do you really HAVE to do all of them? Are there any you can share with someone else or put on hold for a while? For example, if you have committed to baking brownies for your co-workers every Friday could you ask someone to share the burden or tell your co-workers you need to take a break?
3. Find Time. By that I mean, look at time you might have available for you. Do you have a lunch break that you usually spend with co-workers but could spend on yourself? Are there ten minutes in the evening you could dedicate to yourself instead of spacing out in front of the tv?
4. Take Time. Commit to giving yourself 5 minutes every day. Anyone can find 5 minutes - it might be at 4 in the morning, it might be in the shower, it might be escaping to an empty office at work.
5. Fill Time. Take those 5 minutes and breathe. Just breathe. Nothing major, just pay attention to your body while you breathe. Are your shoulders scrunched up? Are you inhaling deeply or just barely? Are your brows furrowed? Relax. Spend this five minutes just tuning into your body and breathing. Shake out your shoulders, wiggle your eyebrows. Relax your face, take a deep breath in, and a big breath out. Practice slowing down your breath and relaxing your body. By the end of five minutes some of your tension should be gone and you might feel just the slightest bit better.
6. Keep Time. Now that you have found the time and filled the time, keep it up! Give yourself these five minutes every day!!

Do you think this seems impossible? Here are some troubleshooting ideas.
You can't leave the office. Everyone can go to the bathroom. Lock yourself in the stall for five minutes.
Your child follows you everywhere you go. Ask him to help you! Go through the breathing exercise with him. Can he tell you if your shoulders look scrunched or if your face looks stressed? Have him practice deep breathing as well.
You keep looking at your watch to see if it has been 5 minutes yet. Set an alarm on your phone for 5 minutes. Now stop looking at the clock and relax!