Stress Less about Birthdays and Anniversaries in the New Year!!

So here is something I do every January that is kind of fun, and makes life a lot easier throughout the year!! I have a plastic recipe-like box that is large enough to fit greeting cards.

I have tabs for each month (I made them out of cardstock paper) and for each month I write down all the birthdays, anniversaries or other events for which I might send a card. Then, I go to a stationary store or a store like Target and go card shopping for the whole year!! The good thing about stationary stores is that you can usually get a frequent buyer card so that you can buy 5 cards and then get one free.

I buy all my cards and then put them in the box by month. That way, at the beginning of each month - when I do my bills - I reach into the card box and fill out all my cards for the month. I send them out that week and don't have to worry about cards until next month!!

One quick tip - If you have an event in the first few days of a month, you might think about putting that card in the month before to make sure you get it out on time!!

I hope this makes your home a little less stressed! Until next time, I wish you a happy healthy new year with a lot less stress or at least a blog that helps you giggle at some of your stress and gives you a few helpful tips!

Frazzled - Let's Be Honest

Okay, so it is time to come clean. I have been very stressed out!!! Frazzled to no end actually. I read one of my posts and felt like it didn't truly represent what I am going through and what many of my friends go through. So, the zen cloak I have worn while writing is off!!! Here I am, frazzled like the rest of the world. After dealing with my newborn's croup, fighting off a nasty cold (for three weeks and it still isn't getting better), begging my husband to fix our dental insurance so I can fix the crown that fell off, oh maybe 2 months ago (back tooth - not visible to anyone!), cleaning up after the two hairiest dogs in the planet, working full time, writing and writing away so I can publish another book, baking for the holidays, and then trying to do day to day stuff, I have been a wee bit stressed.

So what did I do to relieve my own stress? I didn't sleep more like I should because the little man has decided that nursing every 90 minutes all night is what he likes best. I didn't take a walk because I can't really breath with this nasty cold. I didn't take time for myself because I really can't find any. So, Miss stress less, what did you do? I burst into tears while trying to empty the dishwasher.

How did that work out for you?

Amazingly well! My husband came to my aid, emptied the dishwasher and then even ordered take-out for dinner. After that he looked at me and said, "You are trying to do too much. You need to relax. Why don't I take the little man to day care tomorrow and you can sleep for a bit before heading off to work?"

Oh my Knight in Shining Armor!!! And so, here I am, tear free, better rested, accepting of the dog hair in my house, and all set for my dentist appointment next week. I guess I could have avoided the meltdown if I had just asked for some help, but in all honesty sometimes it takes a few tears for others to understand just how stressed one may feel.

So, cry away if you are at that point. The release of tears was also helpful. And ask someone for help. Really. It works!

Until next time, take care of yourself for five minutes each day. Hide in the bathroom and power nap. Take the long way home and listen to your favorite tunes on the radio. Take some time for you!

Keeping the Stress Less During the Holidays

Yeah right. Okay, holiday stress will probably get to you a little bit if it hasn't already. I don't know about you, but it definitely snuck up on me. With two dogs who are pretty stinky, a newborn who is pretty cranky, a stepson in college, and getting readjusted to going back to work, I kind of put the holidays on the back burner. Which seemed like a good idea, only now they are here! Actually, one just passed and I don't even know how that happened. Thankfully someone else cooked me Thanksgiving dinner. So really, how can you keep the stress at a minimum during the holidays?

1. Say No, No Thank You, Thank you, but I can't, Sorry, my schedule is too crazy. Any one of those suggestions will help you get out of overcommitting yourself. Say No!!!!

2. Bake in huge batches. Do you have a bizillion parties to bake for? Then bake a boatload of the same goodie, chop it up (extra small if you have to) and bring it to every party. You don't have to bake different treats for every party so don't.

3. Regift. Yes. That is what I said, regift. Don't give someone something you just want to get rid of, but look at things you have that you haven't used. Do you have 100 candles that you will never burn? Give them away to people who really like candles. You can clean house, make someone's day, and save money all at once.

4. Be honest with your friends. Don't have the cash this season? Tell your friends - Hey, money is tight right now, instead of exchanging gifts why don't we rent a movie and hang out some time in January when the craziness dies down. Your friends will probably thank you - I know I would.

5. Save a day. Block off one day in your calendar before the holidays. Don't plan anything for that day, take it off work if you can, and leave it totally open. This is your In Case of Emergency Day. This way you have one day to do last minute baking, shopping, or cleaning. And if everything is all done, make yourself some coffee or tea, curl up on your couch and watch cheesy movies.

6. Ignore your In-Laws. Okay, not completely, but ignore those in your family and in your circle of friends who have a knack for pointing out everything you DIDN'T do this holiday season. When someone mentions, "Gee, you make five different kinds of cookies last year, I guess that baby of yours must really be more than you can handle." Bite your tongue, take a deep breath, and remind yourself that they must be feeling the stress of the holidays too. You can curse them out in your head, just be sure you use your internal voice. Not the out-loud one.

7. Remind yourself the end is near. As fast as the holidays can creep up on us, the faster they will be over with. Then it is time for a new year!!!

Multitasking? Help or Hindrance?

Well, it can actually be a little of both. Sometimes multitasking is simple and very successful. Other times it can cause too much distraction, leading to tasks half done, not done at all, or so poorly done you have to do them over again! With so much to do, it is hard to get everything done without multitasking. But some of the things we try to get done are not really necessary. Do you have to reply instantly to a text? Does your bathroom really need to be cleaned while you are cooking dinner? So how can you figure out when to multitask and when to focus on one task?

1. Safety: Are any of the tasks you need to do potentially dangerous if left alone, or half done? For example, cooking something on the stove top while cleaning in another room - not a good idea. If there is something that is potentially dangerous if left unattended it is best not to multitask.

2. Importance Of Finished Product. Is your finished product going to be graded, determine your bonus at work, or be seen by many? If so, focus on this task. Distraction will only make your efforts appear as if you were distracted. If the finished product is your sink getting clean, no big deal to multi-task.

3. Is It A One Shot Deal? Are you writing addresses on envelopes and you only have the exact number of envelopes? FOCUS. If you are addressing envelopes and you have 20 extra - go ahead and multitask.

4. Can You Kill Two Birds With One Stone? Some things are actually better when done with other things. For example, watching your tivo-ed television shows while doing squats. Not only are you enjoying your shows, but also you are saving time in your day but squeezing in your workout! And there is no guilt for watching television if you are exercising at the same time!

5. Is This Your De-Stressing Time? Do you exercise to de-stress? Then keep exercise stress free. Don't try to read up on your work during your time on the stationary bike. Keep your time to de-stress simply that. If you don't you will only be bitter that you aren’t getting the time to yourself that you deserve.

6. Will It Affect Someone Who Needs You? Don't multitask while listening to your kids, partner, or a friend or family member in need. Sometimes multitasking is tempting while you are listening to someone tell you their latest woes, but if it is someone who really needs a shoulder, be present for that person.

Slow down. Life doesn't have to be a multitasking mess. Do one thing at a time and pay attention. Eating while driving, talking on your cell phone while walking the dogs - it takes away from thing we should enjoy. Eating should be done in a calm setting without too much distraction. Enjoy and taste your food. Going for a walk with the dogs can be fun if you view the world through their eyes. One task at a time may make you more appreciative and more relaxed!

Interview on Stepparenting

Check this out! http://www.psychologytoday.com/em/35081

Pretty cool!! Irene Levine, PhD, did the technical review of my first book, "The Everything Guide to Stepparenting." I have adopted her as my mentor and really hope someday I can be as savvy as she is!

Check her cool blog out at www.thefriendshipblog.com

I have a fun post on multi-tasking coming up on Sunday, so stay tuned!!

Take A Break

Well, that is what I had to do!!! My goal was to post each week but I had to miss one. Going back to work and sending my little guy to daycare was rather stressful!! My home certainly wasn't stress free. To top it off we had a yucky virus cruise through the house, a visit from the paramedics, and both dogs had ticks!! So, I actually took my own advice and took a break. I stayed in bed while I was sick and let others take care of me - hey they offered. I am sure they didn't expect me to say, "Yes, actually there is something you could do for me!" But I did, and am healthier for it. So when you are feeling a little run down, if your week is particularly stressful, or if you just feel like you need a day to do nothing - listen to your body. Take a break - the laundry, extra work, phone calls to return, bills, etc., will all be there tomorrow. Take a day to relax and rejuvenate! I am glad I did. It will make me a better blogger in the long run.

Take Care!

Still Burning?

Did you think last week's tips were it to conquer burnout? Well they weren't!! But it was a start. How did it go for you? Were you able to find 5 minutes a day just for you? If not, work on it. You really can't be available for those who need you if you have zero time for yourself.

How else can you create time for yourself? Say No!!! This goes hand in hand with last week's tip of reevaluating your responsibilities.

It might sound pretty easy, but how many of you actually feel comfortable saying "no" when asked to pick up an extra child in the carpool, make cupcakes for a work party, clean for your Mother-in-law's visit? Saying "no" is really difficult. If we say no we often feel as if we are failing, being selfish, not meeting expectations, or being lazy. Well, unfortunately no one is going to say "no" for you and NO ONE is going to take care of you but yourself. If you don't start saying "no" people are just going to pile more on you or expect that you are going to pick up the slack. You have to stick up for yourself and set boundaries to keep yourself healthy. But how do you do that?

1. How will this request impact your life?

Is your boss asking you to stay late which is annoying but could potentially increase your year-end bonus? Is your sister-in-law asking you to watch her kids which will mean you could miss spending time with your husband who you rarely see? Think about the pros and cons of saying "no" or taking on the task. Sometimes, you will have to take on a task that in the short run could contribute to burnout but in the long run will lessen the burn.

2. Why are you feeling guilty about saying "no"?

Is the person to whom you are saying "no" going to give you a guilt trip? Don't let them. Keep reminding yourself that you are taking care of you and need to say "no" in order to do so.

Is it tough to say "no" because you always say "yes"? It will take a while to get used to saying "no" but the discomfort is worth it in the long run.

3. Do you feel like you are not meeting expectations?

Chances are those expectations are your own. Give yourself a break and don't expect so much! Would you expect this much from someone else?

4. Say No.

Now the tough part - try saying "no" to one thing this week.

See how it goes. Were you uncomfortable at first? But were you thankful in the long run?

Try it out and see!!

Fitness For the Holidays

Hi there!
Want to keep those tasty holiday treats from sticking to your thighs this holiday season? Check out my tips on staying fit during the holidays:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2331746/making_and_maintaining_fitness_goals.html?cat=5

Stay tuned for more tips on avoiding and recovering from burnout!
Erin

Are You Burning Out?

With everything most of us have going on these days, it is nearly impossible to take time for ourselves. Not taking that time, however, leads to burnout. This burnout can be emotional, job-related, family-related, and even physical. How can you tell if you are burned out or heading in that direction?
Do things you used to enjoy seem to exhaust you instead of inspire you or make you happy?
Does the thought of working, caring for others, or even caring for yourself seem more difficult than usual?
Are you snippy with those around you?
Do you do social activities only because you feel like you "should"?
Do you feel overwhelmed by responsibilities?

If you answered Yes to ANY of these questions you could be experiencing burnout.

So what now? Can you give your responsibilities to someone else? Quit your job? Take a spa vacation for a month? Probably not!
So what can you do?

1. Recognize Your Burn. Now that you know you are burned, it is a good idea to do something to heal it before it gets worse.
2. Reevaluate Responsibilities. Do you really HAVE to do all of them? Are there any you can share with someone else or put on hold for a while? For example, if you have committed to baking brownies for your co-workers every Friday could you ask someone to share the burden or tell your co-workers you need to take a break?
3. Find Time. By that I mean, look at time you might have available for you. Do you have a lunch break that you usually spend with co-workers but could spend on yourself? Are there ten minutes in the evening you could dedicate to yourself instead of spacing out in front of the tv?
4. Take Time. Commit to giving yourself 5 minutes every day. Anyone can find 5 minutes - it might be at 4 in the morning, it might be in the shower, it might be escaping to an empty office at work.
5. Fill Time. Take those 5 minutes and breathe. Just breathe. Nothing major, just pay attention to your body while you breathe. Are your shoulders scrunched up? Are you inhaling deeply or just barely? Are your brows furrowed? Relax. Spend this five minutes just tuning into your body and breathing. Shake out your shoulders, wiggle your eyebrows. Relax your face, take a deep breath in, and a big breath out. Practice slowing down your breath and relaxing your body. By the end of five minutes some of your tension should be gone and you might feel just the slightest bit better.
6. Keep Time. Now that you have found the time and filled the time, keep it up! Give yourself these five minutes every day!!

Do you think this seems impossible? Here are some troubleshooting ideas.
You can't leave the office. Everyone can go to the bathroom. Lock yourself in the stall for five minutes.
Your child follows you everywhere you go. Ask him to help you! Go through the breathing exercise with him. Can he tell you if your shoulders look scrunched or if your face looks stressed? Have him practice deep breathing as well.
You keep looking at your watch to see if it has been 5 minutes yet. Set an alarm on your phone for 5 minutes. Now stop looking at the clock and relax!

Hello and Welcome

Hello and Welcome!

My name is Erin Munroe and I am the author of "The Everything Guide to Stepparenting", technically reviewed by Irene Levine, PhD, and published by Adams Media. I also authored "The Teenage Girl's Anxiety Workbook" for Fairview Press, which is coming out in the summer of 2010.

Parenting, Stepparenting, Welcoming a Newborn, and Teenage Life are all quite stressful at times. My goal is to share some helpful tips, tales from the trenches, and interviews with health and wellness experts. From finding new strategies to manage your anxiety-ridden dog to fitting in self-care during your twelve hour work day, it is possible to have less stress!!

Tip for today? Commit to yourself to take better care of you so you can take better care of those around you!