Keeping the Stress Less During the Holidays

Yeah right. Okay, holiday stress will probably get to you a little bit if it hasn't already. I don't know about you, but it definitely snuck up on me. With two dogs who are pretty stinky, a newborn who is pretty cranky, a stepson in college, and getting readjusted to going back to work, I kind of put the holidays on the back burner. Which seemed like a good idea, only now they are here! Actually, one just passed and I don't even know how that happened. Thankfully someone else cooked me Thanksgiving dinner. So really, how can you keep the stress at a minimum during the holidays?

1. Say No, No Thank You, Thank you, but I can't, Sorry, my schedule is too crazy. Any one of those suggestions will help you get out of overcommitting yourself. Say No!!!!

2. Bake in huge batches. Do you have a bizillion parties to bake for? Then bake a boatload of the same goodie, chop it up (extra small if you have to) and bring it to every party. You don't have to bake different treats for every party so don't.

3. Regift. Yes. That is what I said, regift. Don't give someone something you just want to get rid of, but look at things you have that you haven't used. Do you have 100 candles that you will never burn? Give them away to people who really like candles. You can clean house, make someone's day, and save money all at once.

4. Be honest with your friends. Don't have the cash this season? Tell your friends - Hey, money is tight right now, instead of exchanging gifts why don't we rent a movie and hang out some time in January when the craziness dies down. Your friends will probably thank you - I know I would.

5. Save a day. Block off one day in your calendar before the holidays. Don't plan anything for that day, take it off work if you can, and leave it totally open. This is your In Case of Emergency Day. This way you have one day to do last minute baking, shopping, or cleaning. And if everything is all done, make yourself some coffee or tea, curl up on your couch and watch cheesy movies.

6. Ignore your In-Laws. Okay, not completely, but ignore those in your family and in your circle of friends who have a knack for pointing out everything you DIDN'T do this holiday season. When someone mentions, "Gee, you make five different kinds of cookies last year, I guess that baby of yours must really be more than you can handle." Bite your tongue, take a deep breath, and remind yourself that they must be feeling the stress of the holidays too. You can curse them out in your head, just be sure you use your internal voice. Not the out-loud one.

7. Remind yourself the end is near. As fast as the holidays can creep up on us, the faster they will be over with. Then it is time for a new year!!!

Multitasking? Help or Hindrance?

Well, it can actually be a little of both. Sometimes multitasking is simple and very successful. Other times it can cause too much distraction, leading to tasks half done, not done at all, or so poorly done you have to do them over again! With so much to do, it is hard to get everything done without multitasking. But some of the things we try to get done are not really necessary. Do you have to reply instantly to a text? Does your bathroom really need to be cleaned while you are cooking dinner? So how can you figure out when to multitask and when to focus on one task?

1. Safety: Are any of the tasks you need to do potentially dangerous if left alone, or half done? For example, cooking something on the stove top while cleaning in another room - not a good idea. If there is something that is potentially dangerous if left unattended it is best not to multitask.

2. Importance Of Finished Product. Is your finished product going to be graded, determine your bonus at work, or be seen by many? If so, focus on this task. Distraction will only make your efforts appear as if you were distracted. If the finished product is your sink getting clean, no big deal to multi-task.

3. Is It A One Shot Deal? Are you writing addresses on envelopes and you only have the exact number of envelopes? FOCUS. If you are addressing envelopes and you have 20 extra - go ahead and multitask.

4. Can You Kill Two Birds With One Stone? Some things are actually better when done with other things. For example, watching your tivo-ed television shows while doing squats. Not only are you enjoying your shows, but also you are saving time in your day but squeezing in your workout! And there is no guilt for watching television if you are exercising at the same time!

5. Is This Your De-Stressing Time? Do you exercise to de-stress? Then keep exercise stress free. Don't try to read up on your work during your time on the stationary bike. Keep your time to de-stress simply that. If you don't you will only be bitter that you aren’t getting the time to yourself that you deserve.

6. Will It Affect Someone Who Needs You? Don't multitask while listening to your kids, partner, or a friend or family member in need. Sometimes multitasking is tempting while you are listening to someone tell you their latest woes, but if it is someone who really needs a shoulder, be present for that person.

Slow down. Life doesn't have to be a multitasking mess. Do one thing at a time and pay attention. Eating while driving, talking on your cell phone while walking the dogs - it takes away from thing we should enjoy. Eating should be done in a calm setting without too much distraction. Enjoy and taste your food. Going for a walk with the dogs can be fun if you view the world through their eyes. One task at a time may make you more appreciative and more relaxed!

Interview on Stepparenting

Check this out! http://www.psychologytoday.com/em/35081

Pretty cool!! Irene Levine, PhD, did the technical review of my first book, "The Everything Guide to Stepparenting." I have adopted her as my mentor and really hope someday I can be as savvy as she is!

Check her cool blog out at www.thefriendshipblog.com

I have a fun post on multi-tasking coming up on Sunday, so stay tuned!!

Take A Break

Well, that is what I had to do!!! My goal was to post each week but I had to miss one. Going back to work and sending my little guy to daycare was rather stressful!! My home certainly wasn't stress free. To top it off we had a yucky virus cruise through the house, a visit from the paramedics, and both dogs had ticks!! So, I actually took my own advice and took a break. I stayed in bed while I was sick and let others take care of me - hey they offered. I am sure they didn't expect me to say, "Yes, actually there is something you could do for me!" But I did, and am healthier for it. So when you are feeling a little run down, if your week is particularly stressful, or if you just feel like you need a day to do nothing - listen to your body. Take a break - the laundry, extra work, phone calls to return, bills, etc., will all be there tomorrow. Take a day to relax and rejuvenate! I am glad I did. It will make me a better blogger in the long run.

Take Care!

Still Burning?

Did you think last week's tips were it to conquer burnout? Well they weren't!! But it was a start. How did it go for you? Were you able to find 5 minutes a day just for you? If not, work on it. You really can't be available for those who need you if you have zero time for yourself.

How else can you create time for yourself? Say No!!! This goes hand in hand with last week's tip of reevaluating your responsibilities.

It might sound pretty easy, but how many of you actually feel comfortable saying "no" when asked to pick up an extra child in the carpool, make cupcakes for a work party, clean for your Mother-in-law's visit? Saying "no" is really difficult. If we say no we often feel as if we are failing, being selfish, not meeting expectations, or being lazy. Well, unfortunately no one is going to say "no" for you and NO ONE is going to take care of you but yourself. If you don't start saying "no" people are just going to pile more on you or expect that you are going to pick up the slack. You have to stick up for yourself and set boundaries to keep yourself healthy. But how do you do that?

1. How will this request impact your life?

Is your boss asking you to stay late which is annoying but could potentially increase your year-end bonus? Is your sister-in-law asking you to watch her kids which will mean you could miss spending time with your husband who you rarely see? Think about the pros and cons of saying "no" or taking on the task. Sometimes, you will have to take on a task that in the short run could contribute to burnout but in the long run will lessen the burn.

2. Why are you feeling guilty about saying "no"?

Is the person to whom you are saying "no" going to give you a guilt trip? Don't let them. Keep reminding yourself that you are taking care of you and need to say "no" in order to do so.

Is it tough to say "no" because you always say "yes"? It will take a while to get used to saying "no" but the discomfort is worth it in the long run.

3. Do you feel like you are not meeting expectations?

Chances are those expectations are your own. Give yourself a break and don't expect so much! Would you expect this much from someone else?

4. Say No.

Now the tough part - try saying "no" to one thing this week.

See how it goes. Were you uncomfortable at first? But were you thankful in the long run?

Try it out and see!!